I put out a tweet for help on what to write about for today's post and there was a unanimous winner:
things you will not see at our wedding. B and I never had a clear vision for what we wanted our wedding to be. We just want it to be fun and a reflection of us. Which means we will foregoing some popular wedding traditions.
1. A unity candle, wine box, sand pouring or any other symbolic ceremony. Nothing against those ceremonies though, because they can be done beautifully and be very personal to the couple. But I think we have just seen too many cheesy movies or witnesses some awkward ceremonies, so we are passing.
2. A flower girl. We don't have a lot of friends with kids so finding a flower girl was bit tough. But we do have an awesome ring bearer! Although, if I had my way I would have a dozen cute flower girls and ring bearer. Anything to take the attention off me!
3. A big, fancy wedding cake. I'm never terribly impressed with wedding cake, so it's not high on our priority list, money wise. Yes, they are beautiful and can be the focal point of a reception, but not our reception. You want to know a secret? We may get our wedding cake from Costco. Not our entire wedding cake, but at least a couple sheet cakes that we will keep in the back to serve. We will just get a small decorative cake to cut into. Shhhh...don't tell!
4. A bouquet/garter toss. First of all, the bouquet toss is my LEAST favorite part of any wedding. I find it embarrassing and a little annoying. Second, most of our guests will be married and those that aren't DO NOT need to be reminded of their singledom. Lastly, I don't really want all of our wedding guests watching B reach up under my dress to grab my garter. No. Thank. You.
5. Sparklers, confetti, glitter, bird seed, bubbles, rose petals. This isn't really our choice, but due to some limitations on our venue, we essentially can't use anything that is thrown or blown into the air then thus on the ground. If we choose to do a big exit, we could use ribbon wands or, my current favorite, glow sticks!
6. Wedding favors. I have been searching for nice, affordable, and memorable wedding favors and I have come up completely empty handed. They don't exist. After talking to some people, I realized that they aren't really necessary. I don't really remember a wedding for the favors, so I would rather spend that money where people will notice!
Even without these things I know that our wedding will be a lot of fun and be extremely memorable. Some other things that we are trying to work into our wedding reception are lawn games, an anniversary dance (instead of a bouquet toss), and maybe some sort of quiz or game with prizes!
What traditions did you forgo for your wedding? What are your favorite or least favorite traditions?
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Love it.
ReplyDeleteRather than doing a wedding favor we took the money we would spend on favors and donated it to a cause we supported. We left thank you cards on the tables at the reception saying we made a donation in their honor and said a few words about the organization and our heart for the cause.
i'm pretty much on the same page with you on everything here!
ReplyDeleteWe didn't have flower girls or a ring bearer for the same reasons - we don't know or have any children (in our families/friends) that would have been appropriate! I was bummed, though, because I do think they are so adorable!
ReplyDeleteWe didn't do the bouquet or garter toss. I actually had a throw-away bouquet, but just completely forgot about it, and I was fine with it :)
Such a great post! I've never understood those sand/candle ceremonies, either :P
ReplyDeletei agree with a lot of this! i hate the bouquet toss too and the whole garter thing can be awkward haha. smart idea about the cake! why not? it usually doesn't all get eaten, so the huge expense isn't necessary.
ReplyDelete-- jackie @ jade and oak
A bouquet/garter toss was the first thing I took out of our wedding 'agenda'. I just think the entire tradition of those things is... ew.
ReplyDeleteBeing in the event planning industry - I see SO many weddings. I couldn't agree more with your decisions! To me, there is nothing more uncomfortable than the entire room watching the groom go up his brides dress, making some inappropriate faces, and coming out with her garter! Also - I just worked a wedding where their cake was actually made of styrofoam and covered in fondant - and they served sheet cakes! Nobody knew and it saved them so much money.
ReplyDeleteWe did not do kids in the bridal party, any candle/sand ceremony, bouquet or garter toss, or favors. We did sparklers at our rehearsal dinner to take pics, but that's it.
ReplyDeleteWe didn't do a unity candle (etc). No kids were allowed at the wedding or reception so no flower girl or ring bearer. We didn't do an exit from our reception, but we did use bubbles for when we exited the church. We didn't have wedding favors either because we got a photo booth instead and figured the little strip that people got to take home was favor enough...and they actually liked those more than just some random thing we'd set on the table.
ReplyDeleteI am pretty much 100% with ya on these. Especially the unity candle...so cheesy. I am probably too cynical for my own good though. When the BF and I talk about marriage I go back and forth with wanting a wedding and just eloping on the beach in Hawaii.
ReplyDeleteLauren
Style of One's Own
We didn't really want to play all of the stereotypical "group songs". So the Macarena, YMCA, Cupid Shuffle, Boot Scootin' Boogie, etc. We had our DJ do a mix of about a minute of each song. It worked out perfectly.
ReplyDeleteInstead of gifts I have seen people put little notes at the table saying that in place of a gift they have donated money to _____ (speacial cause or non-profit). I thought that was a really cool idea.
Honestly, I don't understand these people who spend ridiculous amounts on a wedding cake! We knew we were doing cupcakes for everyone else so we put a cake to the way side. I actually forgot about it until about two weeks before the wedding. I ordered a cake from Walmart of all places, spent a whole $20 on it and got exactly what I wanted. Yes having a Walmart cake may have been a little tacky but no one there knew and I was happy with it!
ReplyDeleteI love the glow stick idea!!! Super creative and it could be really cute! :) I love it!!! We didn't have a first dance at our wedding, my husband refuses to dance, and I was a little bummed, but it was ok, I don't think anyone noticed! I'm glad you posted this post!!!
ReplyDeleteAmberly
http://lifewithamberlyandjoe.com
LOVE this post! Our wedding was rather simple and quite non traditional. We had around 30 guests, no flower girl or unity candle thingy. My father passed away when I was 19 so I didn't want to walk down with anyone who would 'give me away' as it didn't feel right, so my hubby and I walked together. We were married in a Bed and Breakfast in Napa and the emphasis was on having great food.
ReplyDeleteNew subscriber!!!
I read this on my phone today and couldn't WAIT to get home to comment! We are skipping the unity ceremony, having any children in the wedding, and the big cake. We thought about having sheet cakes in the back, but our caterer told us they could do cupcakes for the same price, so we figured why not?! Also, we ended up getting koozies REALLY cheap.. like maybe $100 total for all 200 wedding guests, and they're super cute!
ReplyDeleteIt's good to know what is and is not important to you both as a couple when planning! These things aren't what makes the wedding anyway, the two of you do! :)
ReplyDeleteps: if you do want to give something away, we did color changing cups and they were less thatn a dollar each...and we loved those because people think of our wedding now when they get a cup our of their kitchen :)
I think glow sticks sound awesome!
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on this list! We didn't do any of those traditions... except.... we did a unity candle. We had a song playing in the background, lit the candle, and signed our marriage license before the song ended. It was brief and fine. I don't regret it. But for some reason I am super against unity sand pouring. :)
ReplyDeleteWe got married nearly two years ago and did a candy buffet for our wedding favors. It was a HUGE hit. Everyone loved it. Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials!
The Brayn of Chalayn
P.S. New follower! I found your blog through the BlogLovin' Collective.
oh my goodness, i did a bouquet toss and the garter toss and wish that we didn't. i felt like our reception was so 'business' of all the things we 'had' to do. i think this is great. people shouldn't feel like they have to do something just because it's tradition.
ReplyDeleteI am with you on the candle/sand/knot tying ceremony. They can be nice but they are usually just awkward, especially if a long song is played. Also I agree with no flower girls... but maybe that's because I'm not a fan of small children haha.
ReplyDeleteWe didn't have a flower girl at our wedding either & it was no big deal! I would've loved to have had one, but none of our friends or family had kids the right age. Ella is making her big flower girl debut this summer! I'm hoping that she can learn to walk down the aisle in time... if not she's getting pulled in a wagon, which I would never do, but it isn't my wedding!
ReplyDeleteWe didn't do bubbles, flower girl or ring bearer, and favors. Instead we had a candy buffet.
ReplyDeleteI'm a little late to the party, but I love this post! My wedding didn't have any of those things....and three years (almost) later, we're still married! =) When I began planning the wedding, I was shocked at how much of a mark-up wedding items receive. We had a lovely Christmas wedding, and it cost me less than $1,000. You won't regret not spending hundreds of dollars on things that don't really matter. Good for you!
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