Cash Diet

For me, looking at my bank balance is equivalent to looking at the scale. I avoid it if I can, but eventually I have to check too see how much harm I have done.

Someecards

Between the various bills, rent, and student loans, my disposable income is pretty limited. Add saving for a wedding on top of that, and its almost non-existent. Sure, B and I could pull the money we need out of savings, but since we have so much time we are planning on setting aside a fixed amount every month into a joint savings account and saving up that way.

That means that I have to be extra disciplined with my spending, which shouldn't be too hard since only six short months ago I was a poor grad student. When I was in grad school I put myself on a strictly cash budget. Basically, I would take out the cash I was "allowed" and that was all I could spend. Most of the time I wouldn't even carry my credit cards, so I wasn't temped to to spend more.

Shoestrings

I am no financial guru, but the cash budget worked really well for me. Many personal finance professionals suggest relying on cash instead of credit cards because you spend less when you use cash because you can physically see the money leave you hands. I will say, it does make me think twice about making some purchases.

Along with going on a cash budget, I am also going to stay away from online shopping. For some reason $50 doesn't seem that much for a shirt when I am shopping online, but if I were in the store, I would probably put the shirt back on the rack after looking at the price tag.

Source

And since online shopping is off limits, I don't want to be tempted by those daily emails from my favorite stores touting their current sales, specials, and new collections. Just yesterday got an email from Zara advertising their sale. I spent 30 minutes loading up my basket with all these sale items. Next thing I know, I have over $100 worth of stuff in my basket (see, online shopping is dangerous)! Ugh, those emails get me every time! "40% off regular priced items for a limited time" or "additional 25% off already reduced items." I am sending all those emails to the trash or unsubscribing all together because I don't need the temptation.

So, starting July 1st, NO credit cards. I get a cash allowance every week and that's what I can spend (rent, bills, groceries, and gas are all set into my budget and considered necessities, not disposable). If I buy something online or use my credit card, I have to set aside the cash equivalent for the next week or month. But I will not allow myself to go to my favorite online stores nor will I be tempted by their daily emails.

I hope everyone has a good weekend and maybe try going cash-only!!

UPDATE: I totally broke all of these rules today when I got an email from Ann Taylor LOFT saying that they were having a 50% off everything in stores this afternoon. I went online and browsed, then dropped by at lunch time and did some shopping. But the good news is I spent less than $100 and got some good staples. Oh yeah, and its not July 1st yet. :)

Wedding Website

I got an email from Wedding Wire the other day telling me not to forget to put together my wedding website. Don't worry, Wedding Wire, I have not forgotten, I am just not in a hurry.

Who knew there were so many options for creating a wedding website? I sure didn't. Here are some of the ones that I found that are free and seem easy to use.

1. The Knot

2. Wedding Wire

3. MyWedding

4. eWedding

5. Project Wedding

6. Momentville

So, how do they compare? Well, lets see...

Now, this is just based on my quick research and looking through the different sites, so I can't affirm that these are 100% accurate.

I don't know which once I will go with. I am not looking for anything fancy, just something to supplement to our save-the-dates and give out of town guests more travel and hotel information.

And a list of places they must eat while they are in town. 

I Should Get Paid to Plan My Wedding

Unfortunately I don't. Therefore, I should not be using the time I am getting paid at work to plan my wedding.

I will tell you though, its been hard! During those first couple days after we got engaged I couldn't stop thinking about wedding things. And I probably did a couple Google searches of wedding venues, historical weather data, wedding dress shops in Dallas. You know, probably things like that.

There have been a few things that I had to do while I was at work. When I was booking my venue, I needed to scan and send the paper work, which is just easier to do in the office. The emails I exchanged with the venue to confirm the date were during work hours, too. Fortunately, it only took a matter of minutes and not hours.

But now that the big tasks have been accomplished, I am going to get strict with myself about making sure wedding planning doesn't overwhelm my workday. I have come up with a list of rules for myself:

1. Absolutely NO Pinterest! I can pin all I want when I get home. If I dare open Pinterest at work I will just get sucked in.

Source

2. If I have a thought, idea, or question, instead of immediately looking it up on the internet, I will write it down and look it up when I get home.

Source

3. If I absolutely must look something up before I get home, I can only look once I have completed everything on my task list (or if I am eating lunch at my desk).


The one thing that I will allow myself to do without feeling any guilt is figuring out wedding songs. When I just need to focus and don't want to be distracted about whats going on around me, I just turn on Pandora on my cell phone and put in my ear bugs. Any time I come across a good wedding song, I write it down.

I am lucky to have coworkers and a boss who don't mind hearing about my wedding planning progress, and sometimes even encourage ideas. One of my coworkers just got married in April, so she is full of advice. When I finally set the date, she was the first person I told, other than B, because I was just so excited to tell someone.

And I think she was happy to have a distraction from work for just a few minutes.

Nautical by Nature

For those who know me well, the color scheme of my wedding should come as no surprise. Maybe I have been influenced by my proximity to the bay growing up, but I have always loved the navy and white color combination. Since we are getting married on a Naval Base right on the bay, I think the nautical theme will be perfect.

Now, don't misunderstand, I am not talking about sailboats and anchors, a la J. Crew summer 2012, nautical.

J Crew

J Crew

Just a hint of nautical. Beachy nautical, maybe? (Kind of redundant)

I really like the idea of incorporating stripes, watercolor, rope, and burlap elements without getting too eclectic. Maybe just water color and/or stripes for all of our paper details (invitations, programs, etc) and using burlap and rope for some of the reception details (table runners, bouquet wrap, etc).

I'm sure that this will evolve in the next few months, but all of these elements should be easy (and cheap) to execute myself. And that is key!

Sunday Social

What is your all-time favorite song?

It's so hard for me to pick an all-time favorite anything. It changes all the time and sometimes it depends on how I'm feeling. I have a few at the moment that are my favorites:

Mumford and Sons - The Cave
Jason Mraz - I won't give up
Will Hoge (covered by Eli Young Band) - Even If It Breaks Your Heart

I could listen to these songs on repeat all day.

What is your favorite singer/band?

Hands down my favorite singer is Ray LaMontagne. It's hard to describe Ray. Here is what Pandora says: With a voice that recalls a huskier, sandpaper version of Van Morrison and Tim Buckley, Ray LaMontagne joins such artists as Iron & Wine in creating folk songs that are alternately lush and intimately earthy." Well...just listen for yourself. 

What is your theme song/song that best describes your life?

Gosh, this is really hard. When I was in middle school and one of the boys I had a huge crush on started dating another girl, I thought that the song that defined my life was Brandy's "Have You Ever Loved Someone". (Don't judge, aren't all teenage girls this dramatic?)

The Ray song I have above (You are the Best Thing) is probably that one that describes my life right now. You know, still on that engagement high (are you sick of it yet?).

What songs put you in a good mood?

This could possibly be added to the "songs you are embarrassed to admit that you love" category but I am immediately put in a good mood once November/December rolls around and I can turn on my Glee Christmas music Pandora station. Its the best!

EW.com

What is your favorite road-trip music?

My favorite thing to listen to on road-trips isn't music, its podcasts. They keep me entertained and help the time go by faster. My favorites are Stuff You Should Know, Stuff You Missed in History Class, and Stuff Mom Never Told You (All HowStuffWorks.com podcasts)

But the best music to listen to is anything you can sing along with.

What song are you embarrassed to admit you love?

I am totally embarrassed to admit that I will not change the station when New Direction? One Direction? Whatever-that-new-boy-band-is come on. I may even sing along. I know. Embarrassing!

 

What Do I Do Now?

Now we are down to 475 days. That's a lot of days. And judging by my WeddingWire.com checklist, I don't have anything to do until December.

Checklist from now until November 2012:

• Decide on a budget
• Start a guest list
• Determine a time frame
• Choose a color scheme
• Search for a ceremony venue
• Search for a reception venue
• Search for and book a wedding planner

And since I am not planning on having a wedding planner, we can cross that off the list.

Let's see if I can get a head start on anything.

Checklist for December 2012 and January 2013:

• Start a wedding workout routine (GREAT! I can put this off 'til December!)
• Create a wedding website
• Search for a photographer
• Search for a caterer (included in our venue)
• Search for a florist (being done by a family friend)
• Search for a videographer (not having one)
• Book a reception venue
• Search for a band/DJ
• Book ceremony venue
• Book a caterer
• Book a photographer
• Start a wedding registry
• Book our officiant

I added the items in red. I would like to book our officiant since they are not included as part of our ceremony venue. I would also start a small registry before the holidays so that family and friends can just get us wedding gifts instead of Christmas gifts.

It looks like we are doing pretty well. We don't have much to do until the end of the year, which I completely expected. I am definitely going to commit this time to doing some research and maybe starting on some projects that I might otherwise pay someone else to do when I can do them myself with enough time.

476 Days

That's how many days there are until our wedding!

I sent in all the paperwork and payment information yesterday and we set the date. I already feel like a load is off my shoulders. I was stressing out a little bit about the guest list. About the date. About the budget. About the weather. About everything.

As I mentioned yesterday, we had to compromise a bit with our venue. We had a couple options: November 9th, 2013 (a Saturday), or any Friday in October. Initially, I was thinking that November 9th would be great. My mom reminded me that it is not only my grandparents anniversary (will be their 67th on our wedding day) but also my aunt and uncles (will be there 39th). It seemed settled. Then, my mom brought up a minor but incredibly important point. The time changes the first weekend of November. That means that the sun will be setting at 4:51pm on November 9th and our ceremony would be at 5:00pm. Yes, we could move it up an hour, but then would we have to extend our reception an hour, too?

 After weighing the options, B and I decided that we would prefer to get married in October before the time change so that our ceremony can take place in the day light. Ultimately we decided on Friday, October 11, 2013.


I don't mind getting married on a Friday. We have an extra day after our wedding to relax before going back to the real world, or an extra day of travel for our honeymoon. Our out of town guests will have cheaper travel options (traveling on a Saturday is cheaper). And some of our vendors might be a little cheaper since Friday isn't as big a day for weddings as Saturday.

Ultimately, I am very happy with our decision and I like the sound of 10-11-13.

476 days and counting.

The Venue

I am so happy to say that we have a venue! It wasn't much of a decision process. We narrowed our list down to this place pretty early on. Ultimately, its the best value and has the view that we were looking for.

The Admiral Kidd Club, Point Loma Naval Base

Embrace Life Photography

Wedding Bee

The one downside to the Admiral Kidd Club is that we had to make quite a few concessions. I fully expected to have a few restrictions since it is located on a Naval Base and a very popular wedding site, but it was still disappointing to learn exactly what our limitations would be. Some examples:

• There were no Saturdays available until the second weekend of November, 2013 - we were looking for October.
• The don't allow any outside food except cakes and cupcakes. That means no pie or homemade cheesecake.
• The don't allow any sparklers, confetti, glitter, birdseed, flower petals...or basically anything that you can throw during a send off.

These are fairly minor things that I know we will be able to work around. I had to remind myself what we most important, and that is the location...and sticking to our budget. Getting married on a Friday or a Saturday in November wouldn't be the end of the world. Neither would having a normal wedding cake and I know we can figure something else out for the send off.

I feel very luck to have been able to book this place and I know our wedding will be beautiful!

The Ring

The story of the ring is mildly amusing. Amusing in the sense the ring I got was the ring I insisted I did not want.

 

You see, I absolutely had my heart set on a ring that looked like this:

 

Harry Winston Engagement Rings

 

 B was well aware of the fact that this is the style ring I wanted (I literally quizzed him about it).

 

It all started one day a long time ago when he and I had gone to look at rings. We went to one of those big-box retailers (I'm sure you can guess which one) and it was a terrible experience. We felt pressured to buy even though we had insisted that we were only looking. Our consultant showed us 5 different rings...all the same style. Granted, I didn't speak up, but I wanted to try on several styles to see what I liked. The one style I did try on was a solitaire on a diamond band, like this:

 

Robins Brothers

 

 Maybe because my experience wasn't great, but right then and there I declared that I wanted a halo setting with a cushion cut diamond.

 

Many, many months later, and unbeknownst to me, B had started shopping for diamonds and looking at settings. I was aware that he was talking to some diamond wholesalers, but he had told me that we would make a decision on a diamond together, at a much later date. It was during this time that he started feeling me out to make sure he knew what I wanted, and on several occasions he tried to see if I would ever go for a solitaire with no halo. He showed me pictures of his "newly engaged coworker's ring" (there was no coworker) that was a solitaire cushion cut diamond on a narrow micro-pave band. My response:

 

"Its lovely. But not for me."

 

Again, unbeknownst to me, B had already bought the ring. The one like "his coworkers". He panicked. He didn't have the ring in his possession yet, but I'm sure it was paid for partially if not in full, and he had his plan to propose while we were in Denver a few weeks later. And here I am telling him that I wouldn't want that ring.

 

Of course, NOW I feel terrible...but he know what he was getting himself into.

 

So, fast forward to the day he proposes, and I see the ring for the first time. I will admit that I immediately noticed that there was no halo. And I hate to admit that for a sliver of a second I felt a pang of dissapointment. But then I put the ring on, and it was (and still is) gorgeous. B has definitely outdone himself. It was so much more than I expected and I have sense never thought that I would prefer a halo.

 

My ring. The camera adds 10 pounds.

 

Ultimately he decided to go with the solitaire because he felt that the halo setting was very trendy. During his research he had read that halo's had become popular because of the recession - you could buy a smaller stone and put a halo around it to make it appear bigger (hence why I liked it so much!). But B is very classic in his taste, which I appreciate. He wanted to make sure he got me something that I would still love 20, 30, 40 years from now. Something that wouldn't go out of style.

 

I also love that it's something that B loves as well. I mean, I'm sure it was a pretty penny (he reminds me all the time that there is a used car on my hand). When I catch him staring at it from time to time, I can just tell that he is so proud of it. He put a lot of love into it, and it shows. 

 

 

 

Big Decisions!

Well, B and I have decided on a date (and some back ups) and decided on a venue. Tomorrow we will see if we can make it happen! It's our first big wedding decision(s) and our first big wedding payment!

YIPPEE!!!!

If Money Weren't an Issue...

...would I do anything differently?

 

Would I pick another venue? No, I think I will still choose the same venue and the same wedding package that we are currently going with. Would I be less concerned about the number of people we invite? Absolutely! When your wedding costs anywhere from $40-$100 per person, money adds up quickly! We are being pretty strict with our guest list. Initially I was going to allow everyone a guest, but when the guest list crept past 160 people (I know it may seem small to some, but we can barely afford 100 people, let alone 160 people), I decided I would be 'that' bride. I'm sorry if I ever said anything bad about 'that' bride before, but I totally get it now. I don't want to pay $40-$100 for a person I don't know or isn't, truely, important to someone I do know. Yes, I will allow people to bring their boyfriends/girlfriends, as long as I know they are serious. But if they aren't, they don't get a plus one.

 

 

 

Would I spend an ungodly amount of money on a dress? Maybe. The practical side of me just can't justify spending $5,000 or even $2,000 on a dress I will wear once...maybe twice (for pictures). Would I spend an ungodly amount of money on shoes? Hell yes! And I am going to be honest, I still might. If I spend WAY under budget on my dress I am allowing myself to spend the difference on the shoes. Even B agreed (I though he wouldn't). Plus, I would totally wear the shoes again! But if money weren't an issues, I would buy a pair of Louboutins without even batting an eye.

 

Christian Louboutin

 

Would I hire a band instead of a DJ (or DIY)? Yes, I think I would. I think bands can be worth the extra money (if you have it) and they get the crowd up and moving. I want to make sure that my guests are having a good time, and since I am not going to be the type of bride that tears up the dance floor, I think the band can take some of that responsibility off my shoulders. 

52 Week Wedding Planner

Would I have an open bar? B would say yes, I would say probably no. I know some of my guests might take too much advantage of the full bar and I just don't need people getting out of control. I would, however, have more drink options other than beer and wine. I would love to do some signature cocktails. Probably a mojito (B and I fell in love with them on a trip to Miami. The Clevelander has the best), lemon drop (I love anything with lemon), and maybe some sort of soda-whiskey drink (like B's favorite Jack and Coke).

Heart Love Weddings

Would I have a wedding cake? While wedding cakes can be really beautiful, B and I aren't huge fans of wedding cake. I mean, I will eat it if you put it in front of me. But I don't really like frosting or fondant, so I just eat the cake. B and I were thinking of doing s dessert bar with apple pies (his favorite), my mom's cheesecake (a family favorite), and my step-mom's cupcakes (better than a bakery). Unfortunately, the venue we are going with won't allow outside food except cake or cupcakes. We will probably still do my step-mom's cupcakes and then buy a few different cakes to save money. But since money isn't an issue, and I have already stated that we will be staying with the same venue, I would probably get a fun wedding cake and grooms cake.

 

Pinterest

 

Would I DIY my invitations? Yes, I would almost certainly get them letterpressed. Who doesn't love letterpress? Plus, I wouldn't have to stress out and spend time doing them myself. Definitely worth the extra money...if I had it.

Cheap Wedding Favors

The moral of the story is that there are only a few things I would change if money weren't an issue. I know that having more money won't make my wedding any better, and it certainly won't change the fact that B and I will be married. It will just make planning a little easier. Hell, I could hire someone to do it all for me. Oh yeah, would I hire a coordinator? HELL YES!

Inspiration Book

I have a few friends that think I am quite creative, however I can assure everyone, I don't come up with the ideas myself. I steal them from other, much more creative, people. One thing am good at is thinking that I can make or do anything myself (stubborn, much?). When I saw this idea, I KNEW I could recreate it, as can anyone!

Kate, over at Centsational Girl (awesome DIY decorating blog), came up with a great way to preserve ideas and inspiration from old magazines that were now collecting dust. Since I am already starting to accumulate a miniature library of bridal magazines, I thought this would be a great way to save ideas (bridal and otherwise) and also save some space.

Centsationalgirl.com

Fortunately for me, Michaels had a '50% off one full priced item' coupon this weekend. I bought the same sketch book Kate did. Originally $10, but for me, $5. (I have already gone back for more. I am not above making several separate trips to different Michaels stores in the name of saving money.)

Once I had my sketch book and glue, I went through my bridal magazine collection and started carefully tearing out the pages that had inspired me. I organized them by general category (i.e. Flowers, Decorations, Dresses, Reception, etc) then glued them into the book. Since I wanted to keep the book organized by the categories, I left some blank pages in between so that I could come back and add more later. 

 

My inspiration pages

The partially completed book

(Sorry, the picture quality isn't great since they were taken on my cell phone.)

One day, I will no longer be collecting wedding ideas and I will actually have to execute on these ideas. This book will make it easy to track them down and could be a nice keepsake once the wedding is over.

This was so simple and easy to do just sitting in front of the TV (ironically, I was watching Spike TV's Guys Choice Awards). Eventually, I plan to do this with my Martha Stewart Living magazines: one for DIY projects and one for recipes.

Sunday Social

In keeping with the theme my blog, I thought I would keep it more wedding related, which isn't hard because most of my favorite movies are sappy, romantic, and probably involve a wedding.

Favorite [wedding] movie of all time? 

My Best Friends Wedding 

I love Julia Roberts, and while I am not a huge Cameron Diaz fan, she was pretty good in this movie. When I was a dramatic teenager, I thought I would end up like the Julia Roberts' character. I was always the "friend" and never the "girlfriend". Fortunately for me, that's not the case. And, bonus: B doesn't have a female best friend trying to steal him away, either!

Favorite movie quote?
My Best Friends Wedding has a few good ones:

Julianne (Julia Roberts):No. Crème brûlée can never be Jell-O. YOU could never be Jell-O.
Kimmy (Cameron Diaz): I HAVE to be Jell-O!
Julianne: You're never gonna be Jell-O! Now you need to come clean with your parents about this wedding because if you wait for the "Do you take this man?" part, it's considered poor form.   


Julianne: He just came in for few hours to uh, to uh, F*CK ME.
George (Rupert Evert): Huh! Takes a few hours?

Best movie to watch for a girls night in?
You can't go wrong with Love Actually or the Holiday. Or how about a few episodes of Downton Abbey? Also, watching some classics can be a lot of fun. It's hard to get your guy to sit down and watch classic movies with you, but your girls might!

Also Like Life

I have always loved Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. If you get the chance, check it out. Its got everything you need: singing, dancing, love (although, a little chauvinistic at times...but in the most romantic way), marriage, and funny names like Dorcas.


Best breakup movie?
So, this is going to probably sound somewhat trite, but I have never had to go through a break up. B is my only real relationship. The other guys I dated before him, just kind of ended. There was no talk, no crying, no dramatics. We were just done, does that make sense?

My point is, I don't have a good breakup movie. But back when I was a dramatic teenager, and I thought my heart was broken, I loved watching What's Eating Gilbert Grape. Strange choice? Maybe. But its not really a love story, so you don't have to worry about that. And its sad. And when I am sad, sometimes I just want to be sad and cry. This movie will make that happen.

A good one that's more current is Crazy Stupid Love with Ryan Gosling and Steve Carrel. Even if its just for this:

Hollywood Young Blood

Favorite celeb eye candy?
See above. But only in Crazy. Stupid. Love.

Ask Men

Oh yeah...and Ryan Reynolds. Even B has a man crush on him.

Which movie stars closet would you want to raid?
I wouldn't want to raid her closet all the time, just in this one instance. Anne Hathaway wore a beautiful Valentino dress to the 2010 Met Gala.

Style Sizzle

 Even in gold, it would be a great wedding dress.